Lunacy
by therisingharvestmoon
Summary: A student-teacher relationship of the wacky, snarky kind. LL/SS non-romance. Oneshot.


**a/n** - I love the weird looks Snape gives Luna, I mean they're barely noticeable/almost off screen, but still. I think her honesty and intelligence and oddness would make her quite frustrating and humourous as his student. Especially considering what he's like. Enjoy!

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><p>'Please, sir – I think you've made a mistake.'<p>

The polite and ludicrously sing-song voice rang out from the back desk of the classroom. Severus Snape sighed in annoyance, and smirked in dark humour as he turned to face the interminable girl.

'Do you, Miss Lovegood? And what would that be?' Did I forget to mention Dementors' extreme fear of dirigible plums? Or have I simply not given you enough information on warding off werewolves with the artic turnip?'

The fourth-year Hufflepuffs looked frightened (so really, there was no change) and Luna Lovegood's fellow Ravenclaws stared, awaiting her response, half-exasperated and half- admiring. A few had snickered at his joke.

She stared up at him, her large eyes barely blinking, and cocked her head to the side, those ridiculous radish earrings jiggling madly as she did so.

'No, sir… What's an artic turnip?'

The entire class was now looking bemused. It was a common occurrence that, when insulted, Lovegood would play dumb. It was quite sad, Severus mused, because her classmates believed she simply did not understand the joke. His pitying her blended in with his bemusement and growing exasperation.

'It does not _exist,_' he emphasised, 'nor does an anti-Dementor fruit, or this apparent error, unless you tell me, Miss Lovegood.'

She continued to stare at him with a mixture of interest and patience, a combination Severus found most infuriating. That, and she looked like a confused dog with her head to the side. He almost smiled.

'Well, sir, there are a few spelling mistakes on the board. I would have thought you'd noticed, but they appeared after you'd finished writing them,' she explained, blunt as ever.

He spun around as the entire class giggled and snorted. True to her word, there was written in his untidy scrawl: _Defence Against the Dark Farts, _and a number of similar expletives in the instructions below. Jinxed chalk, no doubt a leftover Weasley Wizard Wheeze, and he was quick to change the text with a flick of his wand. The class fell silent.

'See me after class, Miss Lovegood.'

She merely stared at him for a few more seconds, and then went to work like the rest of the class.

When the others shuffled off to their common rooms, she approached his desk silently. He raised his hand to silence her nevertheless, in case she started blubbering her self defence.

'Do not speak - I merely wished to thank you.'

If possible, her eyebrows rose further, and she cocked her head once more, her mouth open in a comic 'o'.

He had no idea what effect his words were having on the strange girl, so he continued. 'For… your attention to detail.'

At these words, her faced broke into the largest smile he had ever seen.

'Oh, I knew you were interesting, Professor Snape – Harry Potter thinks you're nasty, but I think you only share your secrets with people you can trust - and they have to be intelligent enough,' she rambled. It was Severus' turn to stare blankly at her. 'Not that Harry isn't intelligent – his eyes are lovely – not that you'd notice, sir, but I knew you were lying about the artic turnips in front of everyone else, because they wouldn't believe you.' He was about to tell her about the joke at her expense to shut her up, until she said, more slowly, 'I trust you, Professor. Not a lot of people tell me things. Not a lot of people talk to me at all.'

Instead of looking sad at the end of this confession, she was still beaming back at him for his confidence. 'Uh.' He had no idea what to say, so instead tapped his nose. She winked at him conspiratally, gathered her quill and parchment and left the room.

Severus blinked, standing and noticing that someone had dropped a scrap of paper on their way out. Picking up the parchment, Severus flipped it over in his hand and read: _Lost satchel, cauldron, shoes, clothes, Ravenclaw scarf, Lion's head and Raven quill. If found please contact Luna Lovegood, Ravenclaw house. Reward offered. Items needed for day to day use. _He frowned, looking around and tapped the parchment. It multiplied tenfold and then zoomed toward the walls of the corridor outside, sticking every several yards or so.

In a whisper, so that nobody could hear, he added. 'Fifty points to Miss Lovegood, from Ravenclaw.'


End file.
